Have you ever wanted something so bad that even when you know its not that you keep trying anyways? Last Saturday, I ended it all. I left a job that I thought would change my life. In some strange way, it has changed it. For four months, I drove an hour and a half to and from work for five days a week. In the little time I did have I was sleeping because I was worried that I would fall asleep on the car ride home or simply because I was exhausted. However, there were many positives to the job. I worked at one of the most fascinating places in the world. I met and worked with amazing people. I made the guests smile, laugh, and enrich their experience in little ways.
Unfortunately, it wasn’t for me. I had to let go. Let go of a dream that I so highly placed. Really bittersweet to take those last steps off the property and driving home. Never knowing if I’ll make it back some day. I still left hopeful that I was headed into a better direction. Because I’ve changed so much since that first day. I know what I need to do now, I know what I want to do now.
I feel happy. Something I haven’t truly felt in a long time. Happy enough to let all the negative thoughts leave my head because for the first time in a very, very long time I’m writing. Not for social media but for myself. I have so much to write. I have so much time to write. Sure, the job didn’t work out but it has led me to a much greater beautiful path.