This year, I’ve been able to actively and consciously lose weight. I’m almost at a total of 20 pounds. Almost. Every time I get on the scale I lose more and more weight. I told my mom one day when I hit my 15 pound mark, that I was surprised that I’m actually doing it. Because I’ve always struggled with my weight and every time I’ve said I would lose I didn’t but this time I have. She replied with, “It’s because when you set your mind to something you can do it.”
She wasn’t speaking in general terms. It felt like she was talking about me. She made me start to think about all the things that I could do. If I could lose this weight after all this time, after everything, that I could do anything. Weight has constantly been the elephant in the room. Something I’ve thought of every day of my life and I’ve felt that it has always kept me back. But, if I have finally overcome that hump then what can I do?
If I finally leave that challenge behind, will I have room to do more? Much more, in fact. I need to stop thinking about obstacles. Stop making obstacles. If I allow myself to believe that there are obstacles then I allow myself to stop moving forward.
On Tuesday, I finally passed the last section of a test that will allow me to have a great paying job. Which means that I can write in my spare time. Which also means that there is nothing holding me back. No obstacles. Just my own self-conscious thoughts.