I’ve been off and on with my weight watchers program since January. But, the last month and a half I’ve been really sticking to the diet. Not going over my points and exercising at least once a day, every day. I was getting used to my diet. It was becoming a big lifestyle change. I was finally able to say no to bad food whenever I was out. I’d always bring my own food with me so I wouldn’t become so hungry I’d have to eat something that would throw off my diet. It was truly empowering to be able to say no to food for the first time in my life and feel okay with it.
My Mom took a week off of work for her birthday. I knew I wasn’t going to stay on track with my diet and exercise because we had plans to go out most of the week. So, I allowed myself to eat bad. We were definitely smart about what we ate even though it was not weight watchers friendly. One of the days we shared a pastrami sandwich with a soda. It was delicious! The soda was too but we threw most of that away cause soda is a complete no-go. We continued that way for a few days. We’d share meals and it was only one bad meal out of the whole day. One day, my Mom, my boyfriend, and I went out. Well, the day didn’t go quite as we had planned and I was upset (leaving it at that). The closest restaurant was Bubba Gump’s, a restaurant I’d always go for birthdays. I’d always get this light up drink that they had. My Mom and my boyfriend knew me so well that they took me there to cheer me up. I knew I didn’t want to get a salad. A salad wasn’t going to make me feel better. A pasta was going to make me feel better.
I looked at the menu, found my favorite dish (shrimp scampi) and looked at the appetizers. I saw the mac ‘n cheese and basket of garlic bread. It was like the restaurant was waiting for me. I was going to get them, I didn’t care if I had to pay the whole bill. I wanted my bread and cheese and pasta because I had a horrible day and these three were going to make my day better. My boyfriend already knew when he turned to me and said, “do you want to share the mac ‘n cheese?” I fell in love with him all over again.
Walking away from that meal, I didn’t feel guilty. I didn’t feel fat. For the first time, I felt like I earned this meal. I already lost 20 pounds. Yes, on and off but I did. It feels incredible. And, it just reminds me that even though I still have more weight to lose I’ll still be able to eat the food that I want to eat.