I’ve been unemployed since March of last year and as much as I would like to say that I’ve been productive with my time, I haven’t. I’ve been lazy. I mean, I worked on the house. I fixed the fence in our backyard and renovated my mom’s bathroom, along with other things. But, did I make great progress on my writing?
No. Did I make a dent in my collection of unread books?
No. Did I work on crafts for my business?
No. Did I lose all the weight that I wanted to by the end of 2020?
No. I was home all year and I didn’t really do anything.
There are things that I can do, that I want to do, and dreams that I want to achieve but I don’t have the motivation for it.
Now, we’re looking at moving. As we’ve been wanting to move for awhile. Our house is at a good price to sell. The saddest part is that I don’t have any money to give to my mom to buy another home. Which, I’m thoroughly disappointed in myself for because years ago I told her that I would help her buy a home. I can’t do that now.
I’m not working as the schools have all closed again and I know it’s hard on her. I need to be adult, grow up and be realistic. Be realistic and be honest. Not cruel.
I need to tell myself that I’m not going to be a successful writer overnight and sitting here everyday not doing anything about it isn’t going to make life better. Nothing is going to change if I don’t do anything. I just need to swallow my pride and get a job. That sounds obvious, I know, and maybe even a little dumb. I’ve just been avoiding it for so long that I can’t anymore.
I will make my life better and I will work hard to get it.